3 REASONS WHY YOUR KID CAN'T GET OFF SOCIAL MEDIA

3 REASONS WHY YOUR KID CAN'T GET OFF SOCIAL MEDIA

Have you ever wondered, “Why is my child so connected to social media?” Or, “Why are they always on their device?” or “Why are they so insistent in taking their device to their room?” Maybe you’ve asked them to do something around the house and their immediate response isn’t “Sure!” but, “Just give me a minute. I need to get back to someone real fast.”

These are the kinds of things I heard from parents after presenting Digital Avalanche, the parent’s seminar.

This generation is a connected generation. You already know that. But how connected are they?

• Research indicates young people today are spending up to six hours every day online. That’s not six hours in one concentrated time block, but over the course of 24 hours.

• 87% of people aged 10-23 check their accounts everyday.

• 48% of young people (10-23yrs) get on social media first thing in the morning, after their alarm goes off. Before showering, or eating breakfast or getting dressed, they get plugged in.

It’s with these stats in mind, that I want to focus on just one of the current and emerging trends within social media and young people: the trend of kids craving connection and three reasons why this is happening.

1) FOMO (fear of missing out)

FOMO is a fear of missing out and it’s the main driving force for kids and their attachment to social media. They don’t want to miss out on the events happening in the world around them, because that would mean they could be left out or left behind in social settings.

Like all of us, students want to find places where they are accepted & find belonging. For a young person, online appears to offer both.

At its core, the craving for social connection stems from those foundational needs they are looking to their peers to fulfil. There’s a lot on the line for them as they pursue “social connectedness, in part” because there is an expectation to be online. That doesn’t mean they should be on every social media platform. And as a parent you know how important it is to do your homework and determine what social media avenues you want your kids to have access to. There is no blanket rule. This is best decided in each family, and with each child. But as you make your decisions, it is important to know the pressure and expectations students are living with in regards to social media.

2) Appearance Management

When it comes to the online world it’s easy for students to build a fantasy image of themselves not based on reality. Online platforms are used to demonstrate the life they wish they had, which ultimately leads nowhere good.

Think for a moment about your own social media usage and what you post. None of us are eager to post our ‘low light reel’ of our dirty kitchen, of our kids fighting or not wearing make up, unless we’re doing one of those social media campaigns with the hashtag #therealme. The most common stuff we post is our ‘highlight real’. Without even making a conscious decision, this is what we default to.

Many students get sucked into painting a picture of their life on social media that is completely flawless—portraying an ideal life more than an authentic one. That doesn’t mean social media is the place to air all of our dirty laundry. Over sharing isn’t helpful either. You don’t want to be that guy! But we do need to teach students to discover who they are and that they are designed with purpose & intentionality—that who they are is enough and they should focus on celebrating their uniqueness rather than getting caught up in comparison, which social media breeds.

So far, you’ve probably been tracking along, but this 3rd reason may hit a little too close to home.

3) It’s been modelled to them by their parents

The truth is, some of us, as parents are more connected to our devices than our kids.

Our phones have become our default habit. We may not even necessarily be picking them up to go on social media but perhaps to organise with your partner who’s picking the kids up after soccer training tomorrow, or to grab some groceries on the way home from work. You might even be replying to a work email that’s come in late. You know you have a good reason for being connected, but your students sees you constantly on your device & they make assumptions about your activity. The narrative they tell themselves is, “Mum or Dad are online. Again”.

Through this, you are modelling what’s normal and acceptable when it comes to how often you use your smartphone device, tablet or laptop. More than what you say to them, what you are demonstrating in your own relationship with social media, is communicating a message loud and clear. So, my question is, are you happy with what you are modelling to them?

The less obvious side effect your kids experience when they consistently witness you on your phone, is that what is happening there, is more important than what’s happening with them.

So as parents, I would encourage you to be present with your kids, aware of what you are modelling to them, because more than what we say, they are picking up on and modelling what we do.